"Because the more we all raise our hands and share our OWN motherhood stories, the less alone you might ultimately feel in YOURS."
Dec. 19, 2022

The Under-Discussed Financial Struggles of Motherhood

The Under-Discussed Financial Struggles of Motherhood

Hey Mamas! In today’s episode, we’re talking about the under-discussed FINANCIAL STRUGGLES of motherhood. 

 

Motherhood is beautiful, and challenging, and EXPENSIVE. It comes at a high cost...depending on your situation, it can be physically, mentally, emotionally, and without a doubt, financially demanding. 

 

And in addition to the obvious expenses…..society tends to overlook so many other factors that can negatively affect our finances after becoming a mom - and in turn, can negatively affect our relationships, our self-confidence, our sense of identity and self-worth, our feeling of independence, and SO much more.

 

Whether you’re a stay-at-home-mom, a working mom, a mom trying to balance solo or co-parenting, a person or family struggling with infertility treatments, or just some OTHER version of superwoman….I PROMISE there is something in this episode for you. 

 

Today, I’ll be sharing my conversation with Eileen Joy - she’s a money coach behind the successful online business ‘Moms Who Money’. Eileen truly walks the walk and talks the talk….we’re going to chat about how her experience hitting a personal and financial rock bottom as a single mom, led to her 'getting her shit together’, and learning EVERYTHING she possibly could about money.

 

Eileen now coaches overwhelmed moms on how to talk about and manage their money….no shame, no guilt, no embarrassment. She’s here today to break down the most common financial struggles of motherhood, and to share some simple steps we can take, and systems we can all implement to lighten our financial troubles!

 

If you enjoy today’s episode, please make sure to follow the podcast on Instagram for more tips, links, and freebies on relatable motherhood topics. You can find it on Instagram @theraiseyourhandmotherhoodpod!


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LINKS FROM TODAY'S EPISODE:

Eileen Joy's website - momswhomoney.com
Moms Who Money Podcast (Eileen's podcast AKA bite-size financial tips for moms!)
Eileen's financial book recommendations for beginners:
'The Psychology of Money' (By: Morgen Housel)
'The Millionaire Next Door' (By: Thomas J. Stanley)

 

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Rae Lynn Minke

Transcript

Hey Mamas, and welcome back to the Raise Your Hand Motherhood Podcast! Thanks for joining me (or rather, letting me join YOU wherever you are at the moment)!

I’m your host, Rae Lynn Minke, and in today’s episode, we’re talking about the FINANCIAL STRUGGLES of motherhood. 

Motherhood is beautiful, and challenging, and EXPENSIVE. It comes at a high cost………..depending on your situation, it can be physically, mentally, emotionally, and without a doubt…financially demanding. 

And yes….there are a number of OBVIOUS expenses of having and raising children….you’re talking food, clothes, diapers, school supplies, sports and extracurricular activities, medical costs in some circumstances - ya…..I could just keep going, but……I think you guys all get the picture.

But in addition to the obvious expenses…..society tends to overlook so many other factors that can negatively affect our finances after becoming a mom - and in turn, can negatively affect our relationships, our self-confidence, our sense of identity and self-worth, our feeling of independence, and SO much more.

Whether you’re a stay-at-home-mom, a working mom, a mom trying to balance solo or co-parenting, a person or family struggling with infertility treatments, or just….some OTHER version of superwoman….I PROMISE there is something in this episode for you. 

Today, I’ll be sharing my conversation with Eileen Joy - she’s a money coach behind the successful online business ‘Moms Who Money’. Eileen truly walks the walk and talks the talk….we’re going to chat about how her experience hitting a personal and financial rock bottom as a single mom, led to her (quote unquote)….getting her shit together’, and learning EVERYTHING she possibly could about money.

Eileen now coaches overwhelmed moms on how to talk about and manage their money….no shame, no guilt, no embarrassment. She’s here today to break down the most common financial struggles of motherhood, and to share some simple steps we can take, and systems we can all implement to lighten our financial troubles…..because money is a HEAVY topic, and we’ve all got enough on our plates as it is as!

Alright, Mamas….get ready to take some notes today - mental or literal, whatever works for you! 

And if you enjoy today’s episode, please make sure to follow the podcast on Instagram for more tips, links, and freebies on relatable motherhood topics. You can find it on Instagram @theraiseyourhandmotherhoodpod! 

OK - we’ll be right back!

*****

Money is a HUGE trigger for me.

I’d say it’s right up there as one of the most difficult things for me to discuss with my partner. And when you’re a parent…..money is a constant and ongoing discussion. There are new costs almost every single day. One day, you’re buying diapers and formula, and before you know it, the cupboard is empty and you’re buying it again. And then all of a sudden, none of your child’s clothes fit and you’re hunting down affordable options in the next size up. And I’ll take a minute here to say that I think HAND-ME-DOWNS are the way to go as parents…..our son has spent 90% of his first 2 years in clothes that were handed down to us from friends and families kids. They just grow so frigging fast.

And then they start daycare or school and come home with LISTS of supplies. And……well, OK….that’s how far we’ve gotten with our toddler….but it’s not hard to look into the future and anticipate all of the financial demands that are ahead of us. 

And we have ONE child. 

Families with 2, 3, 4, or MORE kids…..well…..let’s just say that I wish money really did grow on trees, because every parent deserves a money tree in their backyard, and we would all be out there picking every last dollar off of it that we could find or reach!

But what if we look BEYOND the obvious expenses for our kids? Because there are TONS of hidden costs of motherhood. For example: having children changes our bodies. And I’m talking like ANATOMICALLY shifts and changes our bodies. Wardrobes that fit us before motherhood - might become totally obsolete after the fact. And money that might have previously been allocated for new clothes for us is suddenly allocated to one hundred other things…

Or what about the cost of something like therapy? I’m not sure how many of you listening have a therapist or counsellor, but navigating all of the changes after motherhood is HARD and it can be so beneficial having somebody to talk about that with, outside of your partner, your friends, or your family. But unless you have incredible benefits from your career or maybe from your spouse or partner’s work…..it’s just another expense that most likely doesn’t fit in the budget. 

I used to have a great benefits plan before becoming a mom. And I did NOT take it for granted, believe me…..I used up every last bit of that benefits package that I could - especially in the first few months of the Pandemic, and the last few months of my pregnancy. 

But since becoming a stay-at-home-mom in late 2020….and then moving back overseas in 2021……I’m simultaneously navigating motherhood, being an expat (again), AND a lack of career and income. It’s a lot. It’s not comfortable being vulnerable in so many different ways at once. I went from being a confident income-earning woman - to being a mom, a trailing spouse, and unable to even open my own BANK ACCOUNT in my country of residence because of my visa status and lack of employer. It’s been a definite blow to my ego and my confidence, and I’m positive that some of you listening today know what I’m talking about.

And when we’re not feeling like the most confident or worthy versions of yourself, what do we do? We overcompensate, and we try to fill that void with things that make us feel good or like a previous version of ourselves. 

For me - RIGHT from the early days of motherhood - that has always meant cafés and a daily tea/treat. Because in addition to parenthood being expensive and exhausting at times….being a stay-at-home-parent….at least in MY OPINION…..can also be very monotonous. So treating myself felt like something I could do to break up the monotony of my days. Instead of attending meetings and planning projects and having daily interactions with colleagues in a work setting, I based my daily stroller walks around an overly expensive cup of tea. Because to me, the cost of that tea was outweighed by the sense of comfort it brought me as a floundering new mom, trying to figure out who I was now outside of being a mother.

Anyway, I always say I could do a whole series of episodes on identity, and how it changes after motherhood….but the fact of the matter is - becoming a mother or parent DRASTICALLY changes our financial situations, and it means we have to change the way we think about and manage our money. And just like when you first become new parents, nothing can really prepare you for the reality of that change. We can only learn from our experiences, our missteps, and our discomfort….and try to figure out tools to help us do better in the future.

But I don’t want to just ‘get by’ financially….living month to month, and having uncomfortable conversations about money with my husband (I told you guys, its a real trigger for me)……I want to learn how to THRIVE financially, AND be a mom and parent at the same time.

So, if you’re thinking the same thing, don’t go anywhere. I’ll be right back with money coach, Eileen Joy, from momswhomoney.com to talk about just that!

*****

INTERVIEW

*****

OK Mamas, that’s all for today’s show……thank you so much for listening, and thank you to Eileen for taking the time to talk with me about such an important subject.

You can find Eileen’s business online at www.momswhomoney.com…and if you want to hear more about money, mindset and motherhood, you can also check out Eileen’s Moms Who Money podcast!

Speaking of podcasts…..if you’re enjoying this one, please take a minute to rate and review it wherever you’re listening today! Don’t forget to check out the Instagram page, linked in the show notes, for more helpful tips and tools for motherhood……and I can’t wait to hang out again soon!

Until next time, Mamas!  

Eileen JoyProfile Photo

Eileen Joy

Eileen Joy Money Coach for Moms

Eileen Joy is the money coach for moms. She makes money easy and empowers moms and their kids with a financial education. She teaches moms how to create wealth without the sacrifice and still enjoy their lives, so they can stop living paycheck to paycheck and have a healthy relationship with money. And she shows them how to teach their kids about money so they can be set for life! Her 10 year old son knows more about money than most adults.

Eileen is a divorced, single mom who hit rock bottom after her divorce. Eileen had to get a new house, a new car and a new job all at the same time. She went from bankrupt and broke to now totally debt free, a fully funded emergency fund, a paid off car three years early, and on track to retire early!

She has created an easy system that any busy and overwhelmed mom can follow and specializes in working one on one with self-led, professional moms who are committed to investing in themselves. Eileen has created a safe and comfortable environment to learn about one of the most avoided and taboo subjects, money. No more Shame, No More Guilt and No More Embarrassment.